But where this dialogue can get short-circuited is when I sense a change is needed, but am afraid to do it. Often this is my own good-intentioned ego trying to rescue me: “Why are you wasting time on this? Abandon this process—the art looks bad, anyway —and do what’s already familiar to you!” I’m learning to better recognize that voice without jumping to conclusions. More difficult is discerning the need to drastically rework a section of the canvas, or even start over (maybe I am stuck on fixing something “bad”). I can’t face the possibility of ‘failure’—to do so would render all of it a waste of time. So, I continue trying to “rescue” the painting, putting yet more hours into sustaining something that isn’t likely to work. I can no longer see what I need to let go of. I am too mired in the work, considering it from too many angles. The puzzle is starting to feel hopeless.

Reaching this point, where we can’t puzzle ourselves out, we need a second set of eyes.

In my case, that’s a trusted artist friend who I can invite to the studio. This can’t be just a good-intentioned friend, but a trained artist who is experienced themself and understands the struggle. They come to look at the art, hear me share aloud about my process, and they in turn share what they see and hear. Hearing myself aloud is often enough to recognize where I am stuck. But my friend listens, and with fresh eyes, can observe and readily discern what’s working, what’s not, and offer suggestions on where I can go. From these exchanges I learn to see clearly again and proceed with the joy of discovering the mysterious essence of the painting. This puzzling out with my trusted friend, done with kindness, patience, and perseverance, helps reveal to me how to make this painting a completed image, now recognizable and attainable.

You likely see where I am going with this. Painting is an analogue to my own inner journey, and perhaps you can relate. If you are anything like me, you may find yourself struggling to sort out your own “breathing puzzle.” The puzzle that is our spiritual journey doesn’t necessarily begin with the finished image on the front of the box. Without the reference, it’s a much more complicated task!

We can bring our spiritual journeys, the highs and lows and everything in-between, to a trained spiritual companion. These deep listeners can lovingly observe where we’ve been, what’s happening, and where we are going. They can reveal to us where they see the complete image already taking form. They can help us identify the burdensome pieces, shed light on confounding blockages, and release tensions we no longer need to hold onto—those things that prevent us from meeting and befriending our True Self, and connecting with God, the Infinite, or however you name the Ground of All Being.

A second set of eyes—or ears in the case of a spiritual director or companion—who listen to our daily puzzlings, while lovingly holding the big picture of our lives, helps us fit the pieces together and bring it all into focus. Puzzles can be fun and they can be daunting, but most always they are made simpler and more enjoyable when done with a friend.