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SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

unresolved responses, hurts, and trauma are harboured, collapse back into the sad awareness that there are no
even if physical healing may be complete. Deeply buried quick-fix solutions available. They must live with what
residual anger may be triggered by insignificant events has occurred—with themselves and with the losses that
and erupt, leaving the person feeling that things are out of have brought changes. Adding to their pain is an acute
control. This place of recovery is, therefore, often a chaotic sense of loss that the familiar religious experience that
place, when ambivalent feelings about a sense of progress they once enjoyed and that provided stability has gone.
are experienced. There may have been a return to a sem- It is not uncommon for people “in recovery” to feel
blance of normal daily life with its patterns and rhythms, they must leave behind or reject those who are unable
but the person remains incomplete within her deepest self, to understand or share their perspective of what has
and she senses that she lives in a place which is now discon- occurred and the new state where their inner life resides.
nected from her past and one which not a part of a per- They seek those who will validate their experience and
ceived future. In this place of “recovery,” she lives between who are considered safe and open rather than prescriptive
her old self and the new self that she senses she is becoming about religious experience. Finally, another characteris-
(McDonald and McDonald, 77–84). It is a place where tic is a focus on the recovery process itself, often to the
the soul remains fragmented, still crying from what has exclusion of other interests and the rejection of former
injured it. In this place of recovery, depression may be the theological models of belief. The latter no longer “work”
soul’s way of saying that it is tired and exhausted. Those “in or are considered capable of explaining what they have
recovery” report that it is a place of ambivalence between experienced, so a crisis of theological understanding is
hope and despair as their new identity emerges from the not an uncommon response to the trauma. This in turn
healing process. results in the individuals moving to another faith type, or
A common response by those in a place of recovery in the case particularly of Protestant Christians, to move
having incurred trauma, disruption, or physical injury is from their denomination or local church community to
to attempt to reclaim what has been lost or irrevocably another that best approximates their new faith paradigm
changed, only to discover that this is no longer possible (Jamieson, 99–115; and Fowler). A double dose of grief
or, after a period of reflection, necessarily what is really is then experienced by people “in recovery”: the initial
desired. Thus, a characteristic of the place of recovery is an response to the experience or trauma, but also the sensed
unrealistic hope that things will return to what they were, absence of God in their life. It should not surprise us then
but it is a hope tinged with the ambiguity of confusing that people “in recovery” may become disillusioned with
emotions. An example of this would be if a fire or flood has their religious community and everything associated with
destroyed a home. Even if a new house were constructed God and ultimately reject both.
on the same site, it would not replace the memories and
associations that have been lost. It is not a simple grief that The Type of Events and Trauma Which Create
is experienced but a loss of heritage, identity, and sense of This Place of Recovery
place. A dominating characteristic of being “in recovery,” What are these trauma or events that affect people
then, is a sense of death: that is, the former life has died; deeply and change them irrevocably? The more com-
relationships have irrevocably shifted. mon ones include divorce, the death of a child or a
Due to the intense emotions and sense of death that spouse, the sudden loss of health (which may thrust
pervades this place I term “in recovery,” sometimes peo- individuals into facing their mortality), and a loss of
ple will be driven to find or uncover something to relieve financial security. For some it is the destruction of
them from the uncomfortable and ambiguous place their home by fire or flood. Violence, be it domestic
where they now find themselves. In doing this, they hope violence, rape, or assault, shatters a person’s life and will
it will become an orientating beacon of light to which often leave the person wondering what to do with its
they will strive in their journey towards the construction effect upon him or her. Also, pre-eminently for those
of a new place of normality. But when this search for who work in the helping professions (social workers,
something that will provide instant salvation fails, they teachers, and those in ministry), is burnout—the silent

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