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SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

The Effects of Trauma on a Person’s Faith Journey
Rob Culhane

An old monk was standing at the gate of a monastery tion, they want, as practising Christians, to deepen their
when a stranger walked by. “What do you do in there all relationship with God and to find God in the midst of
day?” the stranger asked. The old monk replied, “We fall their perplexing suffering. All three are in what I term
down and we get up again.” (Griffiths) “recovery.” By this I mean they are still recovering from
a major trauma which continues to affect their ability to
his is not just the experience of monks. experience God in everyday life. They are like the monks
Many who come for spiritual direction find who confess that they spend their days falling down, only
that influences from their past cause them to to get up and then fall down again. It is the continuing
fall down like the monks in this apocryphal influence of their trauma that has driven them to consult
anecdote. A lack of awareness of those the professional psychologist or psychiatrist and also the
Tinfluences casts a shadow over their life, assistance of a supportive spiritual director.
outlook, and experience of God. They may also have Although I write from a distinctive and classical
unrealistic expectations about their ability to live a spiritual Christian position, much of this article deals with the
life and struggle to rise again when they fall. Many confess all-too-common human experience of disturbance and
to guilt and frustration that they fail to live as they had hoped readjustment following trauma and suffering. In response
and have failed to maintain a sense of God’s presence or to suffering, humans of all cultures and faiths construct
commitment to living out the reality of God in their daily lives. responses to explain and to provide meaning to what has
occurred. We are, by our very nature, meaning-making
For example, a divorced, middle-aged man comes people, and these constructions, often in the form of a
for spiritual direction shortly after a twelve-month rela- paradigm, are useful but not always particularly helpful. At
tionship with his girlfriend has abruptly ended. He is their best, paradigms help clarify where people are located
perplexed about his inability to build a new relationship in their experience and provide bearings to guide them
and has noticed with the help of his counsellor that rela- so there might be a sense of progress. But paradigms can
tionship bruises from his family of origin and his recent unintentionally distort the good intentions of the spiritual
divorce continue to influence and shape his ability to guide when they are not recognised to be operating in the
form new and intimate relationships. But these influences background of the approach taken by the spiritual director.
from his past also affect the way he relates to God and his For a spiritual directee, paradigms may be unconsciously
ability to feel God’s presence. Another example is that of held, raising expectations that are now challenged by the
a woman in her late fifties who has been coming to see me trauma, and this adds to the person’s confusion and sense
for seven years. During this time she has undergone sur- of loss. This article seeks to alert the person accompany-
gery for cancer, follow-up radiotherapy, and reconstruc- ing someone who is in what I term “recovery,” to reflect
tive surgery. She has suffered from depression through not only on those paradigms the spiritual seeker may have
much of this period and still receives psychiatric care. The adopted, but what new ones may be available.
physical traumas have often overwhelmed her ability to
maintain faith in God, and she has often felt she has been The Characteristics of the Place of “Recovery”
in darkness where God’s absence has been acutely felt. What are the characteristics of this place I term “recov-
Finally, I meet with a young man who has bipolar disor- ery”? The most obvious characteristic is the habitual
der who is regularly consumed by dark emotions that are retelling of the story when the person was injured or trau-
based on his childhood experience of emotional abuse by matised. This story continues to dominate the individual’s
his father. Although all three people receive professional narrative and to hold her or him captive. The experience of
psychiatric or psychological help alongside spiritual direc- a person “in recovery” is that it is a shadowy place, in which

34 Presence: An International Journal of Spiritual Direction