Page 6 - 31-3 Connections August 2022

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Education residency in psychiatry, have two United States. And in those connections, I was
graduate degrees from seminaries, a doctorate in given the nourishment and support to provide the
psychology, and plentiful post-doctoral training in level of spiritual direction/companionship that was
trauma. I say all that only in order to say this: I felt required to hold the sacred space.
inadequate to witness the husband’s trauma and
suffering and utterly stretched to the limits of my One of the most common questions I’m asked
skills. about trauma-informed spiritual direction is
around concerns of doing harm. There are a
But he picked me. He chose to trust me with cluster of questions, actually, including these:
the complexities of his agony because he felt no
one else could hold it with him. I certainly was • “When/how should I make a referral to a thera-
humbled; but mostly, I was terrified. I was not at pist or doctor?”
all certain that even the fullest deployment of my • “How can I be sure that I won’t re-traumatize
training would be sufficient to hold a safe space them?”
and, should I falter, I was scared that he might die. • “When does spiritual direction become thera-
py?”
Yet, I went where he asked me to go.
• “How do I stay in my lane?”
Traumatized parts of me that I had long forgotten These are helpful questions — ask them often!
were activated; wounds from childhood and
adolescence that were sutured in my heart were But when investigating them, remember to hold in
the messy mix not only the spiritual directee, but
reopened. I would weep and tremble after our
sessions. From India, I was regularly in touch this important truth – that the parts that are being
revealed in spiritual direction have chosen you.
with my spiritual director and supervisor in the
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