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CONTEXTS & CULTURES

another isn’t primarily about feeling their pain; rather, it I know that my own journey has been made less ardu-
is feeling one’s own pain, confusion, frustration, and the ous because my spiritual director has been comfortable
like, to such a degree that we identify with the one who enough with her faith struggles to share them with me.
seeks our guidance. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung has said
that only the wounded physician heals. Only those who Lightheartedness
have entered the dark night of their own soul can bring a I have a cross-stitched wall hanging next to the door
sense of comfort and meaning to those wanting to grow inside my office that says “Lighten up”; it is the last thing
through their quest for truth. This is reminiscent of the my spiritual directees see before leaving the room.
archetypal story of the wounded healer: In my spiritual direction ministry and service I have
found that many people, and seekers more than most, are
Yoshua ben Levi came upon Elijah the prophet … and prone to being too intense, too serious, and in too much
asked “When will the Messiah come?” Elijah replied, of a hurry to become more spiritual. For many seekers it
“Go and ask him yourself.” “Where is he?” “Sitting at is a crisis of faith that brings them to our door. They feel
the gates of the city.” “How shall I that they have lost not only their
know him?” “He is sitting among We must open ourselves faith, but their way in life as
the poor covered with wounds. well. Because they value what
The others unbind all their wounds to the life lessons they have lost they want to
and bind them up again. But he regain a sense of peace, certainty,
unbinds one at a time and binds it encountered in our own and answers to their many ques-
up again, saying to himself, ‘perhaps tions sooner rather than later.
desert times lest we I often find myself encour-
I shall be needed: if so I must always
be ready so as not to delay for a aging seekers to “lighten up,”
moment.’” (Nouwen, 81–82) find ourselves in to relax, slow down, and trust
more. The Buddhist tradition
We are not too different from the unenviable position values a laid-back approach to
those with whom we sit in spiri- matters spiritual, for it teaches
tual direction. Our wounds may of being the blind that because the road to enlight-
or may not be as numerous or enment is long and difficult,
evident as theirs, but what matters leading the blind. we should not forget snacks
is that we are not so consumed and a magazine! This notion
by them that we are unable to assist those who seek our is very counterintuitive for most of us since the longer
guidance. A spiritual director must be able to call upon something takes and the more difficult it is, the more
the wisdom gleaned from her or his own journey. We we are inclined to spend time and energy working on it.
must open ourselves to the life lessons encountered in our Such was the case for the seeker who asked the master,
desert times lest we find ourselves in the unenviable posi- “How long will it take me to reach enlightenment?”
tion of being the blind leading the blind. And we must be “Five years,” the master replied. “What if I try hard?” the
ready to set aside our struggles in order to be present to student responded. The master then replied, “Ten years!”
the person sitting across from us. Striving will get us far in most aspects of life, but when
Seekers or, for that matter, all those who value spiritual it comes to spirituality, that is not the case. This is so
direction can benefit when a spiritual director is open because, strange as it may sound, our spiritual life is none
about her or his questionings. While keeping appropriate of our business! We have something to do with it and
boundaries and making sure the spiritual directee is the about it; namely, to be faithful to a spiritual practice, but
focus of each session, there is room for the telling of our we are first and foremost God’s business. Our agenda and
own story. It can be very reassuring to know that some- timetable for reaching our spiritual goals may be laud-
one we respect is negotiating a path similar to our own. able, but they are more often problematic because they

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